Defensiveness is reactive, similar to the defensive plays in football, where the defense reacts to the actions of the offense In relationships, defensiveness can be both a feeling and behavior. Typically, a defensive feeling is triggered by criticism, put-downs, shaming, intense sadness, or anger. As a result of the feeling, you exhibit behaviors such as being… Read More »Do You Play Defense
Find The Rhythm (Lyrics by Larry S. Warfield) LarrySWarfieldMusic.com When a man loves the work he does, it’s a wonderful joy it brings. Not just mastering tools, or remembering rules, or just doing the same old thing It goes much deeper within him. It’s so very much like romance. He finds the rhythm in it… Read More »Find The Rhythm In Your Communication
Men engage the world in a hierarchical social order, “one-upmanship”, whereas, women approach the world as one in a network of connections for intimacy. Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash Mark stood at the kitchen counter making his lunch before leaving for work when Diane started talking about her job, again (How Empathy Comes… Read More »Why Doesn’t ‘HE’ Get It
A person’s word is directly linked to their honor, trustworthiness, and integrity. If someone’s word is their bond, they always keep a promise. I like to say, “Words are Cheap. It’s your behavior that tells the truth.” A person can talk all day long about their ideas, theories, solutions, goals, how they would fix this… Read More »You Are What You Do – Not What You Say
Do you agree to things because you feel pressured? It was almost midnight. She was fading quickly, but he just kept talking doling out orders for the next day. Nancy knew he was a “night-owl” but she wasn’t. She needed her sleep. After 15 years of marriage, she thought that he would lighten up, but… Read More »Does Your “No” Mean “No”
Susie wanted to go out Friday night and relax. She’d been working overtime getting just a few hours of sleep per night. Between her job and trying to start her own business on the side, she was exhausted. She called several friends who she used to go out with on a regular basis. Everyone said… Read More »How You Can Be Truly Happy
The drive seemed to take forever. His hands were still handcuffed behind him. His shoulders hurt. He tried to say something, but the Plexiglas partition between the seats didn’t permit any communication. Absolutely no leg room! The seat itself was a hard plastic shelf. The officers didn’t buckle his seat belt so every time they… Read More »How To Get What You Want
Walter knew his keyboard skills were far superior to anyone he’d ever heard. Going back to that little “Podunk Town” was not an option. The hillbillies in that town didn’t even bother to give him a proper send-off. He’d show them. Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance He didn’t want to listen to Dad’s lecture, so he… Read More »What Can You Do For Me
Walter, a great young keyboardist, was lots of fun but had to do things his own way. He was always right. He gave up two great jobs, playing in a local restaurant and worship leader at church, to make it big in Music City. People loved to hear him play and sing. But, sometimes in… Read More »Who Are You To Talk To Me
A new employee, Alice, was to start today, so many had come through my department lately, I didn’t want another person to train. But I had no say-so in it. The people in HR did the hiring. The new hires just couldn’t do the work, though. There were always errors. I took a deep breath… Read More »I Have to Stop Feeling I Have To Be Perfect